Saturday, June 19, 2010

OH God - yet another version of the tired and turgid Supper Club


RESTAURANT: SUPPERCLUB LONDON, NOTTING HILL


Have you ever eaten out while lying down on a comfy bed? Chances are, if you’ve visited Amsterdam you would have been to or heard of the famous Dutch restaurant/bar/club – supperclub – which does exactly that. Now they have opened in London’s Notting Hill.

Why? Oh why did they bother?

SUPPERCLUB LONDON, 12 Acklam Road, London W10 5QZ (020 8964 6600)

The space is located under the Westway near the top end of Portobello Road on the site of the once legendary 90s nightclub, Subterranea. The space is designed by Concrete, the Dutch Architecture design practice also responsible for the various other supperclub locations in the world and the forthcoming W Hotel in London’s Leicester Square (opening Summer 2010).

On arrival, you pass through impressive double doors leading into Bar Rouge – an obvious take on a classic hotel bar. This is where customers (read: mugs) meet for a pre-dinner drink and suss out the crowd. When the kitchen is ready for dinner (around 8pm if you're lucky or unlucky on your point of view), frosted glass doors slide open and diners are ushered into the vast Salle Neige, a sheer white space and the epicenter of the dining concept.

Diners are shown to their, er, oversized beds which line the sides of the room, as well as along the mezzanine level. It is from here that the rest of the evening unfolds. To a thunmping DJ soundtrack and video projections, drinks are served to your bed along with a four-course tasting menu (£50), which is interspersed with live performances from a myriad of weird and basically crap artists. From the comfort of your bed, you embark on a people-watching extravaganza.

At the end of the meal, the space is cleared and evolves into a nightclub.

So is this new outpost any better than the original in Amsterdam? Well if you're a fan of the original then this latest incarnation wont dissapoint you, I however am a fan of neither.

If your idea of being served ill thought out food, served by zombies of the very very dead kind and entertained by some if the silliest and talentless people then go knock yourself out.

First up, no matter how cool you think you are or look, remember that you’re dining with no shoes on (note: check no holes in socks before heading out). You’re also lying horizontal, which ends up looking either super-sexy (not) or downright slobbish. Negotiating your plate of food from this position also proves challenging.Be warned you will be served a toxic and cheap tasting tomatoe soup in a polystyrene cup as one of your courses.

A few additional tips: Don’t go here on business unless you are very comfortable with your guests. Don’t expect much change from £100 each. Don’t take a normal table in the middle of the space as you will feel self-conscious all night

Final tip - DON'T GO

Why oh why did Apple call it the - iPad?

Apple supremos launched upon us the new but inecsplicably named ipad. The comparisons of the name to feminine hygene products have been coming thick and fast, one wonders why in the upper eschlons of apple didn't someone speak up, then you look at the roster of board members (click on their bio page) and you can see the reason this own goal with the name was achieved.

It also gets you wondering why someone didn't recall the MADtv skit from a number of years ago that should have given them some insight into the complete sillyness of this new moniker for what is a groundbreaking piece of technology.