emotional roller coaster

i'm a grumpy bastard, it's probably now official.
trevor & I had agreed that as he had a Doctors meeting last night we'd not see each other. This suited me fine as I was quite looking forward to having an evening apart.
then at nine'ish the door goes and their he is all chipper - if he was a labrador his tail would of wagged off!
the thing is we'd agreed not to see each other. so he comes in, plonks himself on the couch and i snarl at him!
the buggering thing about it though is that i then feel guilty and upset for the rest of the evening - reaching several times for the mobile to text over an apology - must be the way i was raised (permanent cloud of guilt